Grief & Loss Coaching
To be alive is to know grief. It’s a natural part of the human experience. And yet so often when when we experience a plot twist in our lives, or the universe drops a “gift” in our laps, grief can swell and become all-consuming…and suddenly, no one knows what to say or do.
Grief shows up with any loss or ending or change: the end of a relationship. A job loss. Receiving a scary diagnosis (for yourself or a loved one). The death of a loved one, or the death a dream we had for ourselves, or for others. Even when we get a change we want, we can experience grief for what is no longer.
After the loss event occurs and the immediate shock and upheaval softens a little, we realize we have to deal with this new reality — make sense of it, come to accept it, learn how to integrate it — in order to move forward with our lives.
“Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.”
In the Western world, we generally suck at grieving and allowing others to mourn openly. It’s a skill we never learned. Many of us have difficulty being with people in their grief, often because it wasn’t modelled for us, so we choose avoidance for fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. Grieving can feel too messy to do in front of others, too unpredictable, often too intimate. We frequently don’t have welcoming spaces for our grief. And how many times have we heard (or thought, or said!) that someone’s grieving is taking “too long?” That we or they should “just get over it.”
If you’ve experienced a loss, you may be feeling:
“Time doesn’t heal grief. Grieving heals grief.”
Unsure of who you are in this new reality, and what lies ahead
Afraid of what’s unknown and what might yet be revealed
Shocked and shaken, questioning everything you thought you knew
Unprepared for the new role(s) you’ll be called to step into (and if you’ll be able to meet the challenge)
Overcome with sadness and regret
Angry and hurt because this is not what you planned or wanted
Defeated, unmotivated and frustrated
Or any number of these or other things, often all at once
With some compassionate support and guidance through a coaching relationship, you can feel:
Heard, seen and supported in your grief journey, no matter what you are experiencing or how quickly or slowly things are moving
Your heart is nurtured as you come to terms with the loss
Clear about what’s most important now (and what’s not)
Empowered to understand and influence who you are becoming because of this loss
Allowed to remember the person (or dream or situation) you lost and articulate what you miss or hoped for, and perhaps work thought things left unsaid or unresolved
Supported to create healthy boundaries and self-care practices that protect your energy and well-being as you grieve
And when it feels right (if it ever does), supported to be:
Inspired to hold a new vision for what you want your life to be — to create a new normal
Encouraged and enabled to map out a realistic and actionable plan to step forward
Ready to have a sense of closure or meaning from the loss
Open to gratitude for the lessons and learning resulting from this unplanned shift in your life story
I’ve experienced losses in my own life a number of times, both big and small, and have grown my capacity by integrating those experiences into who I am and who I continue to become.
“The reality of grief is far different from what others see from the outside. There is pain in this world that you can’t be cheered out of. You don’t need solutions. You don’t need to move on from your grief. You need someone to see your grief, to acknowledge it. You need someone to hold your hands while you stand there in blinking horror, staring at the hole that was your life. Some things cannot be fixed. They can only be carried.”
And, I’ve trained to support others in their grief, too. My training and experience as a Co-Active coach means I’m able to be with big, challenging and unwelcome emotions and body sensations, and I know there is nothing wrong with these feelings — in fact, they offer much helpful information. And, because I’m credentialed through the International Coaching Federation and align to their Code of Ethics, I know when to refer a client or potential client to a more appropriate helping professional, such as a counsellor or doctor, when they are “stuck” in their grief or suffering from other impacts of grieving that require different supports.
I’ve completed Trauma-Informed Grief Support with Shauna Janzen, MA in 2022, as well as Thresholds of the Soul Master Class: Coaching Grief and Loss with Nick Kettles, MA, CPCC, MCC in 2024. I’ve also taken workshops, attended talks and read various works of Sarah Kerr, PhD, David Kessler, Dr. Martha Jo Atkins, among others leading work in this field.
As well, my experience as a facilitator, steward and member of the Victoria Holistic Death Care Community since 2018 and my collaboration as Deathwalker Creations to create ceremonies and the Perpetual Deathday Calendar and learning experiences related to the content of the calendar, mean I’ve been steeped in the world of death, loss and grieving, and I’ve got a huge circle of supports and other helping professionals to lean on.
Grief Coaching packages include:
A complimentary 30-minute initial conversation to see if coaching is the best choice for you in your grief journey, and if we’re a good fit
A 45-minute foundational session to establish our alliance and your goals for coaching
Two 45-minute coaching sessions per month (or more frequently, if desired)
Text and email support between sessions
Exercises and reflective practices (as appropriate and desired) to integrate your unique grief experience
6-month, 9-month and 12-month grief coaching packages are offered on a sliding scale.
Contact me for an initial no-obligation, no-charge conversation to get started, or complete the new client intake form: