Mortal Motivation

Here’s what past participants had to say about their experiences in the program:

How death-aware are you? How death-comfortable?

In our western society, death continues to be a taboo subject — something we avoid talking about until it’s right in front of us. We rarely discuss it openly and comfortably. And when it arrives, we often busy ourselves with the practicalities of death so we don’t have to be with the emotional experiences (fear, sadness, anger, longing, regret…) and spiritual questions that arise. This can cause our final weeks, days and moments with our loved ones to be focused on “safe” topics rather than those deep, meaningful moments of shared connection, love and openness we so long for.

What if it didn’t have to be that way?

Consider how we talk about other life transitions — birth and marriage, for example. How could we hold death if we considered it as a natural, welcome and cherished aspect of life? How would that dial down our fears, anxiety and avoidance?

In this program, we’ll ask questions such as:

• Where did you learn about death, and how has that shaped your experience of deaths you’ve encountered…and your life?

• What does death and dying mean to you?

• How do you be with death in a way that empowers you?

• What does it take to have a well-lived life?

We will all die. We often don’t think about death, let alone talk about it, and especially not openly in a social setting. Death and dying often stay hidden, silent and mysterious. By creating safe space to name our fears, ask our questions and share our varied experiences and hopes around death, we can begin to use our own death as a motivator to live our lives in more meaningful ways.

Who is this for?

This program is intended for anyone interested in exploring their relationship with mortality. In particular:

• death care practitioners — death doulas, educators, companionists, ceremonialists, etc. — who may benefit from “doing their own work” as they accompany and support others through their end of life experiences

• folks who’ve received a terminal or life-limiting diagnosis — who may benefit from grappling with non-medicalized questions, beliefs and ideas about the rest of their lives

• caregivers who are supporting those nearing end of life — who may benefit from a structured safe space to process and integrate the experiences and questions that arise

• the curious, the adventurous or the well-planned — who may benefit from deeper exploration of themselves, their beliefs, their plans for life…in a welcoming and inquisitive community atmosphere

I’ve had family members participate together, individuals who have lived through a cancer treatment or other major medical diagnosis, death doulas, folks with aging parents, and other individuals who are curious about the final chapter of their lives….ranging in age from 20-somethings to 70-somethings!

You will leave with…

• expanded comfort and capacity to look at and talk about death, dying, life and living

• a way to describe your current relationship with life and death

• a process to be in intentional relationship with your life

• clarity around what an ideal death looks like for you

• process for adjusting your life choices to lead to a life of few regrets

• tools to repair and/or strengthen important relationships

• ideas, perspectives and questions to continue your exploration and learning

• a sense of shared learning and community

This program does not…

• help you determine and write your advance care plan, will , estate planning or other legal documents (but I can provide recommendations for folks who can assist you with these tasks)

• provide legal, financial, medical/psychological or spiritual advice or direction

Why am I leading this program?

I came face-to-face with my mortality in 2016 when I got a “gift from the universe” — a cancer diagnosis. In that in-between time of not knowing what the treatment plan and outcome were, I had to examine my relationship with death and dying — the practical, emotional and existential aspects of it — in a short number of weeks and months. It was difficult — I felt like I was floundering in a choppy sea that kept pulling me further from shore — and revealing, and changed the trajectory of my life in a number of ways, for which I’m truly grateful.

My wish is that you don't need to be in a state of crisis to be able to think and talk about your death, or any death...no matter how distant or imminent it is.

My hope is that everyone has the opportunity to speak their heart, their fears, their hopes before their time comes.

My hope is that you can be empowered by the knowledge of your mortality and inspired to live well now, until the end.

These are rich and poignant conversations, sacred and intimate, and oh-so-meaningful. Sound juicy? Scary? Exciting? Weird? Intriguing? Then join me!

Week 1: Being with Death

This week we tend the soil in a gentle easing into talking and thinking about death. We’ll explore your formative experiences with death and dying, as well as the cultural messages that inform how you currently hold death. We’ll take cues from the natural world as you’ll reflect on what you want to keep and what you’d like to release as you choose how to hold death into the future.

Week 3: Inspired by Death

This week is all about sprouting new inspired action. We’ll look at your life and the people and things that are most important to you, and any reparations, conversations or other meaning-making you want to take action on. You’ll be guided to create an action plan to hold conversations or write or speak messages of love, gratitude and forgiveness, if needed, and dial up your meaningful living.

Week 2: Embracing Death

In the second week, we’ll plant the seeds to grow your comfort to face your own mortality. We’ll explore what you hope for and fear about your own death and let those emotions run through you to reveal what matters most. You’ll be guided on an inner journey to imagine your own final moments and be empowered to write (or draw, or dance) the closing scene of the story of you.

Week 4: Finding Beauty in Death

In our final week together, we’ll explore the many beautiful gifts that accompany greater death-awareness and death-comfort, including who you get to be when you face your mortality. We’ll look at a mindset shift that can support you, and celebrate your courage and hard work in being with death and dying over the past month. We’ll conclude with a nourishing guided journey for your future.

Program Details

Dates: October 9, 16, 23 & 30, 2024

Time: 6-7:30 p.m. Pacific

We’ll meet weekly via Zoom for 75-90 minutes.

During each session, I will lead you through discussions and exercises to explore your unique relationship with death, and you’ll receive PDF worksheets to capture your thoughts and prompt further exploration.

Between sessions, you will have a field work assignment — nothing overly cumbersome! — some reflections or actions to deepen your learning and further integrate this tender work.

For ICF-credentialed coaches: you will receive 5 Resource Development CCE units.

Investment: $195 CAD or two monthly payments of $97.50 CAD + gst/hst where applicable